








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2101 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1463 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2129 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2657 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,212 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝔻OG𝕄ANthe𝔹OSS | 50% | 133 |
| #8 | L1KEWISE! | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | RONIN | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | [HE]surrender-highly//explosive | 31% | 16 |
| #11 | Bonzai | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torNado- | 30 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | apac | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | 𝔻OG𝕄ANthe𝔹OSS | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ✪ Eclipse | 6 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | L1KEWISE! | 2 | 0.0059 |





