








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4664 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5185 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1657 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3865 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,248 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toast | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | PetPetOtter | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | chan. ♥ | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | $mOOthCriMin@l | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | Lyr | 60% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | AcidResh | 45% | 51 |
| #15 | TrumP-anti.woke-45.47 | 44% | 27 |
| #16 | ミ★ 𝕖𝕞1𝕝𝕪 ★彡 | 40% | 25 |
| #17 | off1cershpee | 39% | 18 |
| #18 | Remo | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyr | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | $mOOthCriMin@l | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Red Bull Ampol Racing | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Remo | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | balalalala | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyr | 287 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ancient | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Diq Of The Asian (DOTA) | 130 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | balalalala | 112 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Heist 上海斗战胜佛 Otter | 100 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heist 上海斗战胜佛 Otter | +4.02 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Lyr | +3.24 | 64 | 73 |
| #3 | PetPetOtter | +1.75 | 47 | 61 |
| #4 | balalalala | +1.72 | 62 | 45 |
| #5 | chan. ♥ | +1.39 | 60 | 52 |





