








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 581 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3069 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2616 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2640 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,995,777 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarryPotter | 55% | 109 |
| #2 | a b y s s a l | 53% | 106 |
| #3 | PetPetOtter | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | TrumP-anti.woke-45.47 | 49% | 267 |
| #5 | $mOOthCriMin@l | 49% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | FatFatOtter | 45% | 51 |
| #10 | Diq Of The Asian (DOTA) | 44% | 262 |
| #11 | banditic - yuanh | 43% | 77 |
| #12 | Savitar | 40% | 148 |
| #13 | [M]oron | 40% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PetPetOtter | 983 | 0.30 | 29 min |
| #2 | Diq Of The Asian (DOTA) | 797 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | Savitar | 386 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Remo | 305 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | a b y s s a l | 286 | 0.13 | 7 min |





