










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 717 | 22% |
| Smokes | 913 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 783 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 784 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,131 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gee | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | SpeedZilla | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | BDE | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | HappyFeet | 62% | 47 |
| #5 | kr1os | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | PaPah[a]tch | 56% | 68 |
| #7 | HalfDutch | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | mongerz | 53% | 32 |
| #9 | JZA | 49% | 39 |
| #10 | Speedy | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mongerz | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | PaPah[a]tch | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Speedy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | JZA | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | kr1os | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPah[a]tch | 172 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | HappyFeet | 149 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | mongerz | 137 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | JZA | 117 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Speedy | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gee | +3.54 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | SpeedZilla | +2.51 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | BDE | +2.49 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | mongerz | +2.16 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | JZA | +1.50 | 69 | 66 |





