








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5033 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6388 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4449 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,037,554 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝunʇɹoɟ | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | SpeedZilla | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | εl 𝖋uεgo | 55% | 74 |
| #4 | NBT | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | kr1os | 54% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mongerz | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | HeavyD | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | rabbiT | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | PaPah[a]tch | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | HappyFeet | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mongerz | 847 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | PaPah[a]tch | 524 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | kr1os | 348 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | NoAim*_* | 299 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | εl 𝖋uεgo | 241 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | εl 𝖋uεgo | +6.41 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | rabbiT | +3.27 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | SpeedZilla | +2.52 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | mongerz | +2.21 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | kr1os | +1.95 | 79 | 68 |





