








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2082 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1519 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,126 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gee | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | kr1os | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | PhårØs | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | mongerz | 58% | 53 |
| #5 | PaPah[a]tch | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PaPah[a]tch | 55% | 120 |
| #6 | HalfDutch | 51% | 47 |
| #7 | Speedy | 50% | 60 |
| #8 | Stripey | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | HappyFeet | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhårØs | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Speedy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | mongerz | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | kr1os | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | PaPah[a]tch | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPah[a]tch | 285 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | mongerz | 265 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | HappyFeet | 197 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Speedy | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stripey | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhårØs | +3.49 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | kr1os | +2.74 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Gee | +2.10 | 56 | 71 |
| #4 | mongerz | +0.96 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | JZA | +0.92 | 75 | 62 |





