








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3393 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3711 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3704 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3362 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,355,859 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rabbiT | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | εl 𝖋uεgo | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | SpeedZilla | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | NBT | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | kr1os | 58% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | mongerz | 56% | 145 |
| #8 | JZA | 55% | 120 |
| #9 | HappyFeet | 54% | 61 |
| #10 | Speedy | 50% | 204 |
| #11 | HeavyD | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | mongerz | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | kr1os | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | HeavyD | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Stripey | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mongerz | 688 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | Speedy | 472 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | JZA | 400 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | kr1os | 227 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | HappyFeet | 218 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | εl 𝖋uεgo | +5.94 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | rabbiT | +4.09 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | kr1os | +2.23 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | JZA | +1.40 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | mongerz | +1.27 | 75 | 63 |





