








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 79 | 14% |
| Smokes | 138 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 173 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 180 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,314 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spencer | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Solister | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | juchemz | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Cpt. Ohee | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | soup bud | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Van Dinner | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | GCSChris | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | satrams | 31% | 13 |
| #9 | Ded Zeppelin | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | Asa | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | GCSChris | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Van Dinner | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cpt. Ohee | 23 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | spencer | 21 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. Ohee | +3.39 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Solister | +2.77 | 81 | 33 |
| #3 | GCSChris | +1.47 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | satrams | +1.09 | 80 | 47 |
| #5 | juchemz | +1.07 | 28 | 29 |





