








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1586 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1106 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1264 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 952 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,059 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | Solister | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | spencer | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | soup bud | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | Asa | 40% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | GCSChris | 39% | 109 |
| #7 | Ikgrid | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | Ded Zeppelin | 35% | 46 |
| #9 | Cpt. Ohee | 33% | 46 |
| #10 | juchemz | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | GCSChris | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Asa | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Ikgrid | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Solister | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GCSChris | 399 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | satrams | 361 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #3 | Asa | 242 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | spencer | 191 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cpt. Ohee | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | +3.91 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Cpt. Ohee | +2.63 | 93 | 60 |
| #3 | spencer | +1.92 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | Solister | +1.54 | 67 | 16 |
| #5 | GCSChris | +1.19 | 75 | 56 |





