








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7108 | 45% |
| Smokes | 4712 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 3121 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,812 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solister | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | Cpt. Ohee | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Van Dinner | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | soup bud | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Asa | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cpt. Ohee | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Van Dinner | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | soup bud | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Asa | 51% | 63 |
| #6 | GCSChris | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Van Dinner | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | GCSChris | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Asa | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | soup bud | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Cpt. Ohee | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GCSChris | 325 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Van Dinner | 248 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Asa | 193 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cpt. Ohee | 127 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | soup bud | 102 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | +2.06 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Solister | +1.65 | 76 | 25 |
| #3 | Cpt. Ohee | +1.23 | 89 | 66 |
| #4 | Asa | +0.05 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | GCSChris | -0.06 | 76 | 63 |





