








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3824 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4078 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1432 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2615 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,032 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Yin | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | KING VINNY | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | GCSChris | 58% | 50 |
| #5 | rhetorikk | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | ZombiebaconII | 45% | 74 |
| #16 | Van Dinner | 44% | 34 |
| #17 | Milkbag | 44% | 25 |
| #18 | diamondback | 42% | 19 |
| #19 | Rock | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 21 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Mace | 20 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Argo :3 | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Render | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Yin | 4 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mace | 447 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | Argo :3 | 305 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ZombiebaconII | 249 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | GCSChris | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | box | 131 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satrams | +5.28 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Cpt. Ohee | +3.33 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | KING VINNY | +2.99 | 93 | 52 |
| #4 | Mace | +1.59 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | Argo :3 | +1.27 | 75 | 49 |





