








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 602 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 799 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,605 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garf | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Caneron | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | unfoldingcactus | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | s4_gull | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | ANKLESPANKER | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana | 446 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | ANKLESPANKER | 207 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Phoness | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Caneron | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | HardiB | 41 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoness | +7.71 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | s4_gull | +4.11 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | unfoldingcactus | +2.94 | 74 | 42 |
| #4 | ANKLESPANKER | +1.53 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Caneron | +1.49 | 68 | 62 |





