








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1816 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2969 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2595 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1960 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,299,071 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Luvaludde ❤ | 57% | 79 |
| #10 | challe | 57% | 69 |
| #11 | Geaddan | 54% | 48 |
| #12 | MissNoAim | 47% | 19 |
| #13 | get_rickt | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnarly (rico) | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | challe | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Luvaludde ❤ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Geniusxl3 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnarly (rico) | 525 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Lite | 354 | 0.37 | 10 min |
| #3 | challe | 284 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 262 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Geniusxl3 | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |





