








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 564 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2510 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3353 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4887 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4575 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,548,602 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luQx' | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | Löwenstein | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | UnterleibDynamo | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | gaard | 52% | 113 |
| #5 | b.shiesty2stony | 51% | 378 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gaard | 52% | 113 |
| #5 | b.shiesty2stony | 51% | 378 |
| #6 | Menlo | 51% | 179 |
| #7 | Scotty P. | 46% | 54 |
| #8 | Aziti_Joe | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b.shiesty2stony | 37 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Menlo | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | UnterleibDynamo | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Löwenstein | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | gaard | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaard | 339 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | b.shiesty2stony | 336 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #3 | Menlo | 259 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Löwenstein | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aziti_Joe | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Löwenstein | +2.58 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | luQx' | +1.22 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | Gregor Geasy | +1.15 | 60 | 59 |
| #4 | Scotty P. | +0.49 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | UnterleibDynamo | +0.32 | 74 | 56 |





