








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2619 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3436 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4593 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2920 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,654,953 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luQx' | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Löwenstein | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | Gregor Geasy | 51% | 179 |
| #4 | UnterleibDynamo | 49% | 95 |
| #5 | b.shiesty2stony | 49% | 436 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | UnterleibDynamo | 49% | 95 |
| #5 | b.shiesty2stony | 49% | 436 |
| #6 | gaard | 48% | 103 |
| #7 | Scotty P. | 47% | 64 |
| #8 | flashhLAW. | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b.shiesty2stony | 35 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | flashhLAW. | 13 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | UnterleibDynamo | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Gregor Geasy | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | gaard | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b.shiesty2stony | 421 | 0.04 | 12 min |
| #2 | gaard | 294 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gregor Geasy | 179 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Löwenstein | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Scotty P. | 106 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashhLAW. | +3.39 | 95 | 63 |
| #2 | Löwenstein | +2.40 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | luQx' | +1.88 | 76 | 45 |
| #4 | UnterleibDynamo | +1.28 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | Gregor Geasy | +1.02 | 58 | 58 |





