








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3547 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3864 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3059 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3857 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,766 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luQx' | 54% | 94 |
| #2 | Löwenstein | 53% | 127 |
| #3 | Gregor Geasy | 52% | 113 |
| #4 | PumpmeisteR | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | b.shiesty2stony | 50% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Löwenstein | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Gregor Geasy | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Menlo | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | PumpmeisteR | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | H0LLe | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonny Sniper #stahlhart | 187 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Löwenstein | 181 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | luQx' | 170 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | b.shiesty2stony | 163 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Menlo | 134 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Löwenstein | +2.34 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | luQx' | +1.26 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | Gregor Geasy | +1.23 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | Phil Dunphy | +0.84 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | UnterleibDynamo | +0.46 | 69 | 56 |





