








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3000 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1656 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1588 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1406 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,793 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 931 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 42 Phantom | 54% | 76 |
| #10 | Jan Deag | 48% | 114 |
| #11 | Lord Woolsock | 47% | 34 |
| #12 | Lolismurf | 41% | 41 |
| #13 | Paul Breach | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZiMAN | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Splash | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | 42 Phantom | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Lolismurf | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan Deag | 232 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | ZiMAN | 191 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lord Woolsock | 134 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 96 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lolismurf | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |





