








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5545 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5489 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3949 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4304 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,729 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 381 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Trendsettaren | 50% | 135 |
| #4 | steffen | 49% | 145 |
| #5 | Earl Simmons | 47% | 198 |
| #6 | Halvprinsen | 45% | 152 |
| #7 | Phatle | 44% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halvprinsen | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | steffen | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Phatle | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Earl Simmons | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Tore Kæsj | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earl Simmons | 636 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Tore Kæsj | 406 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Phatle | 353 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | steffen | 294 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Trendsettaren | 279 | 0.10 | 8 min |





