








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1311 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1619 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1379 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 963 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,339 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gusj | 50% | 135 |
| #2 | Tore Kæsj | 50% | 173 |
| #3 | Earl Simmons | 50% | 167 |
| #4 | steffen | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | Phatle | 46% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tore Kæsj | 50% | 173 |
| #3 | Earl Simmons | 50% | 167 |
| #4 | steffen | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | Phatle | 46% | 119 |
| #6 | Halvprinsen | 44% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halvprinsen | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | steffen | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Phatle | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Earl Simmons | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | gusj | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earl Simmons | 544 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | gusj | 489 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Tore Kæsj | 343 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Phatle | 261 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | steffen | 224 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steffen | +1.74 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | gusj | +1.72 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | Tore Kæsj | +1.27 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | Earl Simmons | -0.04 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | Trendsettaren | -0.10 | 54 | 54 |





