








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1486 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1996 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1943 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1033 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,826 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mxzeH | 46% | 125 |
| #7 | Drin ist der Win | 44% | 142 |
| #8 | swgr | 43% | 47 |
| #9 | Chr1zzles | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | .mvxi. | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drin ist der Win | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | mxzeH | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | okhi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | .mvxi. | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drin ist der Win | 390 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | mxzeH | 201 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | 4tFrag | hatyyy | 102 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | swgr | 89 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | okhi | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |





