








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 199 | 16% |
| Smokes | 490 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 224 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 364 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,605 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | É…VRG ( Dia Coin Owner =) | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | AlexanderCH🌸 | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Leginator_123 | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | fidann | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Ringeltaube | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paulex | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Lines | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Leginator_123 | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | fidann | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Ringeltaube | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paulex | 197 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Leginator_123 | 116 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | fidann | 110 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ringeltaube | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Caesarâ„¢ | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pointer | +6.65 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Leginator_123 | +5.13 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | Lines | +3.45 | 94 | 46 |
| #4 | AlexanderCH🌸 | +3.43 | 88 | 46 |
| #5 | fidann | +1.09 | 67 | 78 |





