








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4469 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2495 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2277 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2743 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,161 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ö Laars | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | Masi | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | Purtsi | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | sampo69 | 60% | 45 |
| #5 | phooks | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funk | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | olkku | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ö Laars | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | punsku | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Ady | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funk | 570 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | olkku | 253 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | ö Laars | 179 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | k̷̐͜e̵̞͗n̵̼̾k̴̥̀ḱ̷̙ü̶͖ | 166 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Masi | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ö Laars | +3.89 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | funk | +3.18 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | Shinkyo | +1.76 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | Ady | +1.14 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | phooks | +0.28 | 67 | 72 |





