








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3583 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4514 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2162 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3165 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,573,797 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purtsi | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Masi | 67% | 58 |
| #3 | Shinkyo | 63% | 52 |
| #4 | phooks | 63% | 46 |
| #5 | Kivari | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puuhastelija | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | sviki | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Lämsy | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | larrYe | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | FrozY | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sviki | 304 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Shinkyo | 251 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | larrYe | 247 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Lämsy | 187 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | FrozY | 179 | 0.14 | 5 min |





