








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4970 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3458 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2928 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2520 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,823 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olkku | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Shinkyo | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | sampo69 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | the best asslander | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Photaque | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shinkyo | 707 | 0.30 | 19 min |
| #2 | olkku | 664 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | sampo69 | 357 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | k̷̐͜e̵̞͗n̵̼̾k̴̥̀ḱ̷̙ü̶͖ | 280 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | punsku | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |





