








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 866 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 314 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4718 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3013 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4906 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2433 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,167 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valnaR# | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | RobG ツ | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | Kampfzwerg | 47% | 266 |
| #4 | Shibby | 38% | 73 |
| #5 | Demokratisierer | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RobG ツ | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | Kampfzwerg | 47% | 266 |
| #4 | Shibby | 38% | 73 |
| #5 | Demokratisierer | 33% | 36 |
| #6 | Recaro | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kampfzwerg | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | RobG ツ | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | valnaR# | 8 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Shibby | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Demokratisierer | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kampfzwerg | 499 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | valnaR# | 210 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #3 | RobG ツ | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Demokratisierer | 77 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Recaro | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valnaR# | +4.69 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | IronDuD3 | +3.51 | 48 | 63 |
| #3 | Shibby | +1.15 | 42 | 30 |
| #4 | RobG ツ | +0.42 | 37 | 60 |
| #5 | Recaro | -2.82 | 14 | 56 |





