










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 505 | 40% |
| Smokes | 150 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 432 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 175 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,221 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLDSCH00L.exe RobG | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Shibby | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Duck-Norris | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | valnaR# | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | $chlaki* | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | GiXXer774 | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Recaro | 33% | 15 |
| #11 | IronDuD3 | 33% | 36 |
| #12 | RobG ツ | 22% | 9 |
| #13 | IronDuD3@KillingsprEE | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronDuD3 | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | valnaR# | 4 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | RobG ツ | 4 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | Kampfzwerg | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Duck-Norris | 3 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronDuD3 | 144 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kampfzwerg | 112 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | valnaR# | 70 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #4 | Duck-Norris | 51 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Holy BREAD | 46 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valnaR# | +9.45 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | IronDuD3 | +4.66 | 45 | 62 |
| #3 | Shibby | +3.47 | 48 | 31 |
| #4 | Duck-Norris | +2.86 | 43 | 64 |
| #5 | The Holy BREAD | +1.96 | 56 | 66 |





