








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1301 | 31% |
| Smokes | 677 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1259 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 969 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,597 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obm | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | Tspencer | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | Shadow Prime | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | sadgezone | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | danwill77 | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rmaa | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | just Andooby | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Tspencer | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | TonkaTruck | 3 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | obm | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rmaa | 369 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | just Andooby | 266 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | danwill77 | 200 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | obm | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tspencer | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tspencer | +2.66 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | k4rmaa | +2.30 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Shadow Prime | +1.05 | 60 | 63 |
| #4 | obm | +0.90 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | just Andooby | -0.40 | 59 | 60 |





