








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2488 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3327 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3007 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2713 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,706 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fogel | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | SEELE7.w4ke! | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | 58% | 93 |
| #4 | briaN | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | Payneez | 50% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Payneez | 50% | 255 |
| #6 | icN | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | beticA | 44% | 63 |
| #8 | DaddyCole | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | ajiruhrfikasdghghxahgah | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Payneez | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | briaN | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | beticA | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ajiruhrfikasdghghxahgah | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Payneez | 1097 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | 236 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | briaN | 159 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | beticA | 112 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ajiruhrfikasdghghxahgah | 83 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | briaN | +2.17 | 90 | 61 |
| #2 | fogel | +1.93 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | +1.72 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | ReTT0 | +1.50 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | SEELE7.w4ke! | +1.23 | 95 | 32 |





