








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5060 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4020 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3314 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2352 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,826 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lol | 56% | 162 |
| #2 | enz0o0o0Zi | 53% | 256 |
| #3 | MitDiRG | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | 49% | 136 |
| #5 | Dolapessi | 49% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolapessi | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Lol | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | niggi | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | 556 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 525 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Dolapessi | 443 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Lol | 392 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | z4! | 150 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | +3.10 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Lol | +2.41 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | z4! | +0.83 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | -0.15 | 47 | 49 |
| #5 | RanDy; | -0.53 | 57 | 64 |





