








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2303 | 35% |
| Smokes | 412 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2013 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,464 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MitDiRGG1 | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | MitDiRG | 57% | 56 |
| #3 | RanDy; | 56% | 162 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | 53% | 146 |
| #5 | enz0o0o0Zi | 53% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Dolapessi | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | z4! | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | 577 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | RanDy; | 500 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 390 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dolapessi | 376 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Team Mazda - Simio | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | +2.64 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Lol | +2.24 | 74 | 47 |
| #3 | z4! | -0.20 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | -0.40 | 49 | 48 |
| #5 | MitDiRG | -0.90 | 81 | 65 |





