








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1393 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3970 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3066 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2787 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,062 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinner!. | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | MitDiRG | 55% | 96 |
| #3 | enz0o0o0Zi | 55% | 270 |
| #4 | 𝖊𝖓3 : 𝕯'𝖔𝖗 | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Lol | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolapessi | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | enz0o0o0Zi | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Lol | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | z4! | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | 659 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | RanDy; | 480 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 460 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Lol | 364 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Dolapessi | 328 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enz0o0o0Zi | +3.10 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | Sinner!. | +3.06 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Lol | +1.99 | 73 | 44 |
| #4 | Team Mazda - Simio | +0.54 | 50 | 50 |
| #5 | z4! | +0.38 | 80 | 53 |





