








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 586 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1981 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1562 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,243 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeLViS | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Pazia | 51% | 61 |
| #3 | ranzau | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Jojjer | 49% | 129 |
| #5 | father m | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMC | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | father m | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Jojjer | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ranzau | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Pazia | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | father m | 281 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | JMC | 258 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Pazia | 200 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jojjer | 151 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ranzau | 121 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | father m | +2.10 | 34 | 76 |
| #2 | Pazia | +2.05 | 76 | 83 |
| #3 | ranzau | +0.21 | 28 | 64 |
| #4 | JMC | +0.02 | 61 | 81 |
| #5 | Jojjer | -0.57 | 48 | 50 |





