








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1589 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1710 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1507 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1249 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,705 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeLViS | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Pazia | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Art | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Mr. Lurch | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | ranzau | 53% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1K!NG | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | JMC | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Jojjer | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ranzau | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Pazia | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMC | 164 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Pazia | 128 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jojjer | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ranzau | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | V1K!NG | 96 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pazia | +2.62 | 77 | 85 |
| #2 | father m | +2.32 | 35 | 74 |
| #3 | ranzau | -0.18 | 24 | 63 |
| #4 | JMC | -0.36 | 58 | 80 |
| #5 | Jojjer | -0.93 | 48 | 44 |





