








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1976 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3132 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4120 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3686 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,842 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flippy Nips | 51% | 107 |
| #2 | Halo4 | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | saltynutbag | 51% | 49 |
| #4 | Squid | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | Sinpure | 50% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | d4n ツ | 49% | 106 |
| #9 | Declan_3D | 44% | 39 |
| #10 | foodHot | 43% | 120 |
| #11 | Alanis | 41% | 86 |
| #12 | FoxySplash | 39% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Sinpure | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ SluRRY⭕⃤ | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Flippy Nips | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | d4n ツ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ SluRRY⭕⃤ | 907 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Sinpure | 900 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #3 | Pablo | 869 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #4 | Flippy Nips | 389 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | d4n ツ | 307 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinpure | +4.61 | 77 | 82 |
| #2 | Pablo | +4.31 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | Squid | +3.96 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | saltynutbag | +1.73 | 50 | 46 |
| #5 | Flippy Nips | +1.66 | 62 | 63 |





