








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6654 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5099 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5497 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4140 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,318 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoxySplash | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Sinpure | 59% | 231 |
| #3 | Squid | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | d4n ツ | 56% | 198 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ SluRRY⭕⃤ | 54% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Alanis | 51% | 331 |
| #9 | foodHot | 49% | 55 |
| #10 | Declan_3D | 47% | 131 |
| #11 | Viet._. | 29% | 28 |
| #12 | jane removalist | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alanis | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Sinpure | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Pablo | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | d4n ツ | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ SluRRY⭕⃤ | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo | 1487 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | Sinpure | 1060 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ SluRRY⭕⃤ | 622 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | d4n ツ | 597 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #5 | Alanis | 267 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinpure | +3.93 | 77 | 83 |
| #2 | Pablo | +3.33 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | Squid | +1.67 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | d4n ツ | +1.51 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | Flippy Nips | +1.25 | 59 | 63 |





