








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Renown | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3821 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4012 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4795 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2797 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,317,970 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | capo#bitchtap | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | the best asslander | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Potkupuku | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | MikaBiceps | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | lasso | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | kokematon ponkka | 42% | 26 |
| #19 | Handu | 42% | 24 |
| #20 | Masi | 40% | 30 |
| #21 | superarde | 39% | 23 |
| #22 | Pökö- | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roberto san | 1170 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | Tedi | 388 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | lasso | 297 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jonzki | 219 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪ AQ | 196 | 0.14 | 6 min |





