








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1399 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2887 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2846 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2217 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,571,864 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿AJ | 48% | 133 |
| #2 | rija | 46% | 130 |
| #3 | rija | 45% | 268 |
| #4 | i cant think of anything | 45% | 200 |
| #5 | theace | 44% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | theace | 44% | 319 |
| #6 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | Touch It | 42% | 391 |
| #8 | Phil Gould | 42% | 85 |
| #9 | Dismal | 41% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touch It | 35 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Dismal | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | theace | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | rija | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | rija | 13 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | 1035 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Dismal | 743 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Touch It | 572 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #4 | ♿AJ | 540 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #5 | i cant think of anything | 467 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | +3.93 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | Phil Gould | +2.95 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | ♿AJ | +2.52 | 63 | 77 |
| #4 | i cant think of anything | +2.25 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | rija | +0.94 | 80 | 25 |





