








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 565 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2135 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3322 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3133 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1704 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,422 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1041 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | ♿AJ | 48% | 62 |
| #3 | Phil Gould | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | i cant think of anything | 45% | 150 |
| #5 | rija | 45% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rija | 45% | 84 |
| #6 | theace | 42% | 226 |
| #7 | H.E. PennyPacker | 41% | 316 |
| #8 | rija | 39% | 170 |
| #9 | Touch It | 39% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touch It | 21 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | rija | 15 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | theace | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | rija | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | i cant think of anything | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | 660 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | i cant think of anything | 388 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Touch It | 343 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | ♿AJ | 226 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | H.E. PennyPacker | 222 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | +3.88 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Phil Gould | +3.86 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | ♿AJ | +2.73 | 62 | 76 |
| #4 | i cant think of anything | +2.05 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | rija | +1.41 | 84 | 26 |





