








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 873 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 622 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4750 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7150 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 8941 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,630,066 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 55% | 69 |
| #2 | ♿AJ | 52% | 233 |
| #3 | rija | 47% | 281 |
| #4 | theace | 47% | 362 |
| #5 | i cant think of anything | 46% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | i cant think of anything | 46% | 239 |
| #6 | rija | 45% | 133 |
| #7 | Phil Gould | 44% | 147 |
| #8 | H.E. PennyPacker | 42% | 391 |
| #9 | Dismal | 39% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿AJ | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | rija | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | theace | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dismal | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | rija | 14 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | 1168 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | ♿AJ | 876 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #3 | i cant think of anything | 595 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | Dismal | 564 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 413 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | +3.87 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Phil Gould | +2.86 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | ♿AJ | +2.79 | 62 | 75 |
| #4 | i cant think of anything | +2.09 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | rija | +0.28 | 79 | 19 |





