








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2953 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 559 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




157 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
28009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 117,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 34351 | 29% |
| Smokes | 20152 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 38594 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 24323 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,350,330 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - unknown • temptatioN* | 58% | 195 |
| #2 | rija | 57% | 179 |
| #3 | imilanfc | 57% | 829 |
| #4 | Mistress | 56% | 971 |
| #5 | ns | 56% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ns | 56% | 209 |
| #6 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 53% | 1111 |
| #7 | Yousif from the Area | 52% | 337 |
| #8 | Touch It | 52% | 233 |
| #9 | _Oblivious. | 47% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 50 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Mistress | 48 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | imilanfc | 29 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Yousif from the Area | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Touch It | 16 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali Abdul Aziz | 7145 | 0.30 | 186 min |
| #2 | Mistress | 2048 | 0.10 | 46 min |
| #3 | imilanfc | 926 | 0.05 | 23 min |
| #4 | rija | 769 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #5 | Yousif from the Area | 586 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rija | +3.68 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | ns | +2.88 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | Mistress | +2.18 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | imilanfc | +0.75 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | ♿AJ | +0.31 | 59 | 72 |





