








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 1 map

Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 275 | 40% |
| Smokes | 195 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 132 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 87 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,611 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Implies | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | meowcat | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Squazzie | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Necron | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | 🔥Blaze | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | atr | 39% | 23 |
| #7 | Sophos | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | dadJESUS | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | Pinda™ | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | Kawaaaabungaaa dudee! | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 🔥Blaze | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Pinda™ | 2 | 0.0200 |
| #4 | Squazzie | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Necron | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pinda™ | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #3 | dadJESUS | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | 🔥Blaze | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Necron | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | +3.90 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Necron | +1.15 | 74 | 46 |
| #3 | Squazzie | +0.60 | 82 | 38 |
| #4 | Okrad | +0.09 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | 🔥Blaze | -0.71 | 58 | 37 |





