








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 21% |
| Smokes | 136 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 163 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,996 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okrad | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | 🔥Blaze | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | PerfectlySizedPP | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | atr | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | Squazzie | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔥Blaze | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | atr | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | meowcat | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Squazzie | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | dadJESUS | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 57 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | dadJESUS | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Implies | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | meowcat | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | 🔥Blaze | 14 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | +1.99 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Okrad | +1.56 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Necron | +1.47 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Squazzie | +0.82 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Implies | +0.36 | 86 | 45 |





