








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 49% |
| Smokes | 144 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 53 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,889 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧Ashikuri⛧ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Squazzie | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | BelugaDuchess | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | atr | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | dadJESUS | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dadJESUS | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | 🔥Blaze | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | meowcat | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Okrad | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | Kawaaaabungaaa dudee! | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 5 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 88 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | dadJESUS | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Okrad | 25 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #4 | meowcat | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | 🔥Blaze | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | +4.00 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | ⛧Ashikuri⛧ | +0.81 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Squazzie | -0.06 | 76 | 33 |
| #4 | Okrad | -1.06 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | dadJESUS | -1.33 | 55 | 50 |





