








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1252 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1313 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,206 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerfectlySizedPP | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Implies | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | 🔥Blaze | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | dadJESUS | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Pinda™ | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sophos | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | Okrad | 39% | 23 |
| #9 | Necron | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | BelugaDuchess | 36% | 25 |
| #11 | meowcat | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔥Blaze | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Pinda™ | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | dadJESUS | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Sophos | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Squazzie | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinda™ | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | dadJESUS | 56 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Okrad | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | 🔥Blaze | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Implies | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | +3.63 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Implies | +0.89 | 84 | 49 |
| #3 | Necron | +0.88 | 75 | 46 |
| #4 | Okrad | -0.11 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | PerfectlySizedPP | -0.34 | 46 | 30 |





