








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 61 | 7% |
| Smokes | 112 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 471 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 266 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,070 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerfectlySizedPP | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | 🔥Blaze | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Pinda™ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Švedski Šved iz Švedske | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | meowcat | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | atr | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | dadJESUS | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | Necron | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | Implies | 27% | 11 |
| #11 | Sophos | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | 🔥Blaze | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | dadJESUS | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Pinda™ | 2 | 0.0247 |
| #5 | Necron | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Švedski Šved iz Švedske | 38 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #3 | Okrad | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Implies | 31 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | dadJESUS | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | +3.00 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Necron | +1.39 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Squazzie | +0.07 | 75 | 39 |
| #4 | Okrad | -0.43 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | dadJESUS | -0.45 | 61 | 61 |





