








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2665 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3988 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3455 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3423 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,389 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jmaister | 44% | 50 |
| #8 | Orkkis | 39% | 49 |
| #9 | BaaBo | 36% | 22 |
| #10 | ziiffi | 34% | 35 |
| #11 | Jones | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmaister | 150 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | RemonttiRane | 145 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mrs.Jellonas | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | BaaBo | 117 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | HarhaanJHTJA | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |





