








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1523 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1993 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2138 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1983 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,403 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breniac | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | NsK | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | OniZb | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | Gaetaen BE | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | PanPanQQ | 61% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanPanQQ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | OniZb | 5 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Chik3n | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Framboise | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Breniac | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Framboise | 292 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | PanPanQQ | 92 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Breniac | 87 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chik3n | 78 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | KaLi | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanPanQQ | +2.76 | 47 | 64 |
| #2 | Gaetaen BE | +1.85 | 60 | 65 |
| #3 | Framboise | +1.63 | 48 | 73 |
| #4 | Breniac | +1.61 | 61 | 71 |
| #5 | NsK | +1.43 | 59 | 57 |





