








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 762 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2301 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2604 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,750 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Framboise | 62% | 55 |
| #2 | NsK | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Peumme | 57% | 83 |
| #4 | Chik3n | 56% | 140 |
| #5 | Allan_DML | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Framboise | 208 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | CUPIDON LE FOURBE | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Peumme | 121 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | PanPanQQ | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chik3n | 72 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Framboise | +3.97 | 54 | 77 |
| #2 | eden | +3.69 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | PanPanQQ | +3.49 | 46 | 65 |
| #4 | Peumme | +2.02 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Chik3n | +1.86 | 63 | 53 |





