








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1380 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3332 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6200 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 3303 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,313 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Better | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | NsK | 63% | 57 |
| #3 | PanPanQQ | 63% | 230 |
| #4 | Framboise | 62% | 198 |
| #5 | SLjojo | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Peumme | 56% | 122 |
| #11 | Allan_DML | 53% | 43 |
| #12 | CUPIDON LE FOURBE | 53% | 139 |
| #13 | ☠ Mr Adishatz ☠ | 48% | 54 |
| #14 | Breniac | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaetaen BE | 21 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | PanPanQQ | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Breniac | 14 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | kennycaine | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Framboise | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Framboise | 750 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Breniac | 325 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gaetaen BE | 260 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | CUPIDON LE FOURBE | 249 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | PanPanQQ | 248 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanPanQQ | +3.18 | 49 | 64 |
| #2 | Framboise | +2.45 | 50 | 75 |
| #3 | Gaetaen BE | +2.02 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | NsK | +1.69 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | OniZb | +1.00 | 72 | 58 |





