








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1229 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1817 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1391 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,454,846 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IxEuphoricxI | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Chravis | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | ChickenBurger42 | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | monkey | 46% | 136 |
| #5 | 3 | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Qnct Alt | 16 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | ChickenBurger42 | 12 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Caderade | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | TURBO | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caderade | 337 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Qnct Alt | 325 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | TURBO | 322 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | monkey | 130 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheEntirePopulationOfBotswana | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey | +3.06 | 71 | 33 |
| #2 | Caderade | +2.77 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | IxEuphoricxI | +2.06 | 49 | 69 |
| #4 | ChickenBurger42 | +1.95 | 76 | 34 |
| #5 | TheEntirePopulationOfBotswana | -0.39 | 65 | 51 |





